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[uuboot76]

Strange commit suicide, "Noble " save
, it is a nightmare simply to me. Be in that ought good and brilliant beautiful season, I however do sth in a fit of pique ran away from home. The reason is very simple, was troubled by contradiction with the elder brother at that time, and parents sides with an elder brother, the home leaves under my stretch. A person comes to new city, the job is not so good search, after successional failure, the family member is done not have in this, the person that connects an understanding even does not have some cities, I am lone, whats are done not have. Below accidental opportunity, knew Zhu Jian, he says to apply for a job to me, I followed him to come home. such, I lived to come down. My life also produced change accordingly.
And " noble " live together parturient
I am very successful the clerk was become below Introduction Zhu Jian. When the first my month sends salary, oneself took 100 yuan of money only, other gave Zhu Jian, "Too bother you, I have money eventually now, can repay you. " Zhu Jian says whats do not want, "This is the pay that yourself works, you are being taken. You are in my home, I also do not have the expense with additional what, you need not give me money. " " I want to move out live, such too disturb you, you also rest bad. " " where do you prepare to be moved? " " do not know, anyway I cannot bother you again, you sleep every day sofa rests at all bad. " " see you say, you did not bother me at all. Such, you go buying piece of bed, such you still sleep inside, I sleep sitting room, wait for you to put enough money to be taken away again. " the Zhu Jian that looks at sincerity I besides appreciate, seemed to rise a kind of sincere feeling in the heart... he sees me be in a daze to him, some feel embarrassed. What I am full of deep feeling is right he says: "Thank you, I do not know how to repay you really. " " foolish girl, I do not need you to repay, it is good to want you only good living it is best to me redound. " do not know how, I attacked to cry in Zhu Jian's bosom...
Tonight, zhu Jian did not sleep sofa, we sleep on a piece of bed. This one night, my feeling is very mixed, became a woman from the girl because of me not only, still a lot of say not clear thing and perception. such, we lived together. We had a time too like husband and wife, I was pregnant later, because did not marry, chose have an abortion so. We are too young perhaps, be pregnant again again later, because last dilatation and curettage, if,the doctor says again abort, after the likelihood bad to was pregnant. I decide to be born the child.
When child quack be born, I do not have a surprise, more it is afraid, worry about the following life, how does concern raise the child. Zhu Jian goes to work to take care of me at the same time at the same time, after having the child, I cannot go to work, 3 rely on Zhu Jian completely one person earns salary to feed, I know his pressure is very great. Zhu Jian every day busy move earns money, care me rarely. My person takes care of the child to want to do chore again already, tired a nuisance [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], also do not have a person that says one's innermost thoughts and feelings, the mood is extremely depressed. The child slowly big, the meeting is piquant, all the day what do in the home is farfetched, I follow ceaselessly in clear away behind him, household work is incessant. I close completely in this house [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I am the following the day goes down too so.
After half an year, because firm of Zhu Jian location widens the driveway tears open change, the boss changes do other business, zhu Jian did not have the job. He goes out ceaselessly to apply for, for the life, he picks the job far from, can do two works sometimes, answer the talks repeatedly effort of family burden to be done not have, housework and child can count on him far from, I also know he is not easy, can be me all the day besides the child it is housework, the mood is particularly upset. Later, zhu Jian tired disease, did not have the job, staying in the home. He smokes all the day, very the appearance of be perturbed. Our life is more and more embarrassed, be forced to move former building, leased a cheap building. Zhu Jian finds the job again, leave home because of the unit too far, we move again, a building was leased around his unit. such, we spent queasy time 4 years, the domesticity of the stable happiness that I expect is further and further from me.
The lot that gives father and mother " shine marriage " marry husband
Do not know why, I always am fear and uneasiness, do not know how the following day is met? Doing not have in the heart downfallen [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], was full of worry, I want to end this kind of scared day. I begin to think father mother, I want to come home particularly see them. Perhaps parents does not accept me, but I still want to see them. Zhu Jian does not agree with me to go back, because he wants to go to work, nobody takes care of the child, if I want to come home particularly,look, live a few days to come back again together with respect to the child on the belt. I cannot look after children of course, parents still does not know this thing.
Return the home, see father and mother is aged a lot of, I not by cry loudly, cannot bear really the heart hits them, hid the thing of Zhu Jian and child so. Mom introduced a boy or girl friend to me, he calls Meng Hai (alias) , parents is very satisfactory to him. For parents, I and he talked to was less than a month to marry. Know in my heart actually, saying is for parents, also be for oneself, I am very clear the marriage that Zhu Jian cannot give me to want and happiness, we are together more than 4 years, still be in utter destitution is mixed turbulent. Await tardy with its, be inferior to looking for the man with a good condition to marry. Meng Hai's family circumstances is very good, house and car have, I believe he can give me wanted marriage and happiness.
But newly-married night, he discovers I am not first time however [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when telling Meng Hai 4 years of much experience when me, he is smoking cigarette silent as the grave, what don't I know he is thinking? Also do not know he can accept my past. This one night, I sleep hardly, fathomming his idea? What kind of decision can you make? After getting up the following day, the offender that I resemble waiting to adjudge is same, waiting for deal with an offender of sea of the first month, but what didn't he say, I also dare be not carried again. such, the following that I worry about to have a hope again already husband had a time too.
My heart is very self-abased, meng Hai's job is good, income is steady, it is mature to work. And I, the job is not formal, viability is poorer also, work absent-minded, often make mistake, I am very ashamed, change to be not dropped again however. And husband, all outside the home in the home goes, this more let me carry do not come at first. The love that I never ask husband is former history, but he can speak of actively, when saying their love although often embrace a kiss, but the bottom line that has oneself however, never jump over Lei Chi half pace. In my heart very clear, he says to listen to me, look the past that he cannot accept me, this is very big to his harm. But, my pain is very great also, when he says these words every time, my heart is pricked with the knife like somebody same. For marriage, I am indulging him, no matter produce what contradiction, even if is him is not, I can restrain myself, compliant he includes he, who lets me have spot.
Recently, he says to want a child, I did not agree, because I am in this marriage,still feel without safety. But he says however: "You are him leave a way out, in the future go to somewhere for shelter he, does the family reunion? " " either, not be really. " except this I do not know what to explain again.
Actually, my pressure is too great, although the child is brought up by Zhu Jian, but I very care remember with concern they, if second birth a child, how does their father and son do Zhu Jian? What is more,the rather that, in this home, I had not found my place. Think of this, my waveringly otherwise should tell husband true idea, I look up see him, discovery has a tear on his face. I know he is very sad, it is I harmed him. But, I do not want to harm anyone [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], want to get along well with him, but seem to lying between a aeriform protective screen between two people. Yes, he is the life that gave me marriage and stability, but he does not understand me, like having child hind to be able to follow Zhu Jian, is the feeling of two people farther?
We are silent after a paragraph of day, he asks a thing that wants the child again, I am reticent in order to answer. He is a little angry, earnest and heavy ask I want to divorce. I do not want to divorce of course, but I return unripe child not dare. For our happiness, I often force myself to do a lot of chore. Because I feel I am a not blameless woman, I am sorry Zhu Jian and child, more I am sorry husband, also I am sorry parents, so I want double compensation. Although I and husband had done an opinion, but be full of to him in my heart appreciate, thanked him to admit me, gave me a home. But I do not go to give a shadow however, although the experience with Zhu Jian already was the history, but I still feel ashamed is right husband, cherish feel apologetic to get along all the day, hardship is subdued again, I am placed rough oneself psychology, fast tired dead. Relevant Information：


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